Dating as a single girl in your 20s is hard, but dating as a single girl in your 30s is harder. By this time, you’ve been scarred a number of times, and are no longer as hopeful about love as you were when all you had to weep about was that ex back in college you didn’t even like that much. By this time, you’ve grown immune to men’s games and style-mo-bulok advances, which now just bounce harmlessly off your cool, hardened heart. By this time, decent men your age are already married with kids, or at least getting there, so you have to cast your net wider to find a match—the thought of which is enough to turn you off dating completely. Or by this time, you can’t be bothered to date anymore because you’re way up in the career ladder, you own your own company, or you just have too many important things going on, in which case, keep being you, kween.
Despite these reasons, we thirtysomething single gals still hope that true, lasting love would just magically land on our laps when we least expect it. However, we also know that the chances of that actually happening are slim to none.
Below, we list love resolutions single girls in their 30s can keep in mind to attract that true, lasting love—instead of just waiting at home with our empty laps at the ready. After all, like our fellow thirtysomething single gal Brit-Brit preaches, "You better work, bitch."
1. I will say yes.
If a man asks you out or a well-meaning friend sets you up on a date, take a risk and say yes, even just once. You don't have to see him again if the connection isn’t there; no one’s putting a gun to your head and forcing you to marry the guy. But what if the connection is there?
2. I will date out of the box.
If you’ve been dating the same type of guy for the last two decades and still ended up single in your 30s, it’s time to see what else is out there. Date a foreigner, date a guy from a completely different industry, date a guy who makes less money than you do, date a guy six years your junior or sixteen years your senior—just go out there and date.
3. I will date my way.
Your 30s is the time to listen to your gut—to hell with what your friends or relationship articles or popular opinion have to say. Have that first kiss or that first adult sleepover whenever you’re ready for it, and set your own timeline for when to be official. By this time, you know what works for you and what doesn’t—any dating guidebook that says you have to play hard-to-get at the start can just shove it.
4. I will be realistic.
Remember when you were 10 and you believed that by the time you were 25, you would’ve found the love of your life who just happened to be a Patrick Garcia lookalike? HA HA HA. Now more than ever, you have to give up your rose-colored lenses—both in your expectations in a relationship and your expectations in a partner.
5. I will protect myself.
By this time, you've wised up after your fair share of douchebag exes, so when a prospect comes along and, from the start, you knew he was trouble when he walked in, just… NO.
6. I will relish my alone time.
Go ahead. Eat alone, watch movies alone, go on vacations alone—and have a blast while you’re at it. Doing things alone doesn’t mean you’re some pitiful, lonely person; it simply means you can do shit alone.
7. I will work on my other relationships.
Develop a closer bond with your parents, never miss your friends’ birthday parties, spoil your nieces and nephews to death, and pal around with the security guard at your condo. Just because you’re single at the moment doesn’t mean you’ll just let the love you have to give fester inside you.
8. I will take what relatives and peers say about my singlehood with a grain of salt.
A lot of the time, comments like “Wala ka pa ring boyfriend!?” or “Masyado ka kasing choosy” come up in dinner party conversations because the people saying them literally have nothing else to say. Brush them off instead of letting them get to you; they’re not worth getting your panties in a bunch about.
9. If Bridget Jones can find true love, so can I. Trust.
Okay, so she's a fictional character. Still, she’s no spring chicken, is overweight, grapples with vices, flails in her career, and seems to always find herself in embarrassing situations—and yet she can still get attractive, successful men in a fistfight to win her heart. #GOALS
10. I will know that whether I end up single or coupled up, I’ll be fine.
You’ve lived a huge chunk of your life single, and you ended up all right, didn’t you? Let romance come to you like a nice surprise instead of an end to strive to, because you already have everything you need to live the life you have anyway. You got this, babe.