Relationships 101: The ONE Sign It's OVER

Cosmo.ph columnist Bianca Valerio examines the importance of communication in the game of love.

Relationships are as complex as the galaxy we look to for so-called "signs" of whether or not he's "The One." However, in wishing upon stars for a sign that will guide our decisions, we often fail to see the one sign that is staring us in the face.

It's not the bad sexual chemistry, inconsistent texts, or shady phone calls. It's simply the point in the relationship when all communication has pretty much fizzled or, dare we say it, died. Yep, there's no mystery to it, only the same old story where the basic fundamental of any relationship--that is, communication--has exited stage left. After all the heartbreaks happening everywhere in the world, no matter the language, it all boils down to one unifying concept we can all learn from.

First, you need to accept (and we mean, seriously accept) that you cannot change anyone, no matter how hard you try. You can only hope for the best in your partner. And the best way you can come close to influencing them is to imagine that your relationship is like a tennis match.

In every relationship, communication, or the exchange of words and ideas (both good and bad), is essential to keeping it moving forward and beneficial for you both. Imagine those words and ideas are the tennis ball. Now, you don't know how your partner will play the game, or whether he'll even play at all. So, in an effort to keep the game (a.k.a relationship) going, you keep serving the ball in the hopes your partner will hit it back. But the moment the ball is in their court, you no longer have control of the situation.

For every time you discuss or even argue with your partner, you exchange feelings from your court to theirs. Since you can't know nor control how your partner will react to the things you say or do, you use your words and actions in such a way that will make your partner react positively toward a win-win solution. But then again, you still have no control over their thoughts, decisions, or feelings and can only hope for the best outcome.

Therefore, the moment communication has stood still in your relationship—when either one of you, or even worse, both of you stop the verbal exchange—then the game is over. You can serve the tennis ball all you want and vice versa, but if your partner chooses not to participate in the tennis match, then no game can be played nor won.

So stop to think for a moment and reflect on your own relationship. Have you two been playing successful tennis-love-matches, or have you found yourself playing the game alone just when you thought you arrived at the match point? As they say, "It takes two to tango," and these words of wisdom also apply to the fate of any relationship.

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