8 Guys Answer: How Much Should You Text If He Doesn't Reply?

'You can double text out of genuine concern.'
PHOTO: istockphoto

The double text (sometimes referred to as a “doubletext”) is the act of sending another even though you haven’t gotten a response on your previous message yet. If you send another message without your recipient having addressed your previous message, are you desperate? Or does it not even matter? Here, eight guys get real about double text etiquette.

  1. “Personally, I think it’s less about how long it takes and more about the context and quantity. Like, what is it you’re sending? I don’t mind if I’m busy and haven’t had a chance to respond and you send a ‘oh, and one more thing’ kind of text. I would mind if I check my phone after a busy period at work and I have like, 19 texts. Or if they’re all obviously ‘why aren’t you responding’ kind of texts. But if it’s like, a ‘what’s up’ text, followed by a link to a song you think I might like, and then maybe asking to hang out in the span of half an hour, I’m not bothered.”—Derrick, 28
  2. I’m actually a really bad double texter myself, so this doesn’t really bother me. I just like to talk.”—Max, 26
  3. “It’s a window. I would say that after you send a text, you have about five minutes to follow up before it seems desperate, like you just want to make sure I looked at my phone. Then, after that, it’s probably two hours before you can send a new text without looking like you’re pleading with someone to talk to you.”—Luke, 27
  4. “Once I was asleep, and a girl got in a fight with me over text. I was asleep. I woke up to her arguing with me over the fact that I wasn’t responding. It was…off-putting. So I would say just don’t send double texts like that and you’re good.”—Matt, 29
  5. “I would say generally anything under an hour is a little too much with two exceptions. The first is if you really think you pissed him off for some reason. Like, you made a joke you thought was offensive or you’re having a serious conversation and it got away from you. You can double text out of genuine concern. Or if you have a new topic of conversation that’s very much time sensitive, I think that’s also fine.”—Pete, 28
  6. “Half an hour is too soon. With all the ways we have to respond with all this technology, giving someone a half hour is good. Unless you know they have the kind of job where they can’t have their phone or something. It’s not a good look to send follow-up texts only to find out they were in a movie or something.”—Josh, 28
  7. “Sending a follow-up text because you have a legitimate reason to do so is one thing. I would say there is no good double text window, though. Don’t send another text until it’s the next day.” —Alex, 29
  8. “This is tough, because it’s so situational. Like, if I said I’d meet someone out with her friends and she sent me a few texts in a row because the plans keep changing, that’s whatever. My ex would text me stuff while I was at work and she knew I couldn’t respond, and that was cute. I guess that doesn’t really count as a double-text. But if I didn’t commit to anything and she keeps texting me ‘hello??’ or something it’s pretty cringe-y.”—Chris, 28

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.

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