In his fantasy world, he wants you to attack him from out of nowhere. But if you literally attack him from out of nowhere, he'll scream and cover his man bits with both hands. "To gauge his interest and avoid freaking him out, give him advance warning," says Boston sex therapist Aline Zoldbrod, PhD. "Call up your guy and tell him that you're going to take him whenever and wherever you please." The notion alone will get him going, but if you sense any hesitancy, stick to basic girl-on-top.
Now, you can put the plan into motion by pouncing when he least expects it. "If you grab him and give him deep kisses and even oral sex as soon as he walks through the door, he'll feel like your passion prey," explains Gardos. "Plus, it shows that you're adventurous and enthusiastic about sex with him."
Then, master the mind games. One way to put him at your mercy: Take his clothes off, but keep yours on. "The fact that you're still dressed gets him excited because he feels like you could leave him there, exposed, at any point," says Zoldbrod. "It's a way to gain the upper hand." If keeping your clothes on doesn't seem sexy, give the illusion of domination by slipping into a black bra, panties, garters, and stilettos.
Playfully order him to get on the bed and stay still while you do what you want with his body. Or lie back and feed erotic instructions to him, telling him where you want to be touched and how. "He loves feeling like he's there solely for your pleasure," says Gardos. "And when you dictate what he has to do, it alleviates any pressure to figure out what gets you off."
Once he knows you mean business, you can bring light bondage into the mix—handcuffs not required (unless you want them). "Simply pin his wrists above his head with your hands or use your panties to tie him up to make it feel more spontaneous," says Zoldbrod. Your "sex slave" will so love it.
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