Warning: The Favourite spoilers ahead.
Joe Alwyn, British movie star and Taylor Swift's better half, has a new movie. In The Favourite, Joe plays Samuel Masham, an attractive courtier who falls for one of the servants, Abigail Hill (Emma Stone). Of course, as any history buff specializing in 18th century Britain can tell you, Abigail was much more interested in winning the attention and trust of Queen Anne (Olivia Colman). And it didn't take long for the Queen to lose faith in her longtime confident, (Abigail's cousin) Sarah Churchill (Rachel Weisz), and promote Abigail to a lady by way of marriage—to Samuel.
The Favourite, directed by Yorgos Lanthimos (The Lobster), contains sharp one-liners that will make you laugh and gasp at the same time, cute bunnies (17 of them, to be exact), and an excellent supporting performance from Nicholas Hoult—all under the umbrella of the intense, hardcore rivalry between Abigail and Sarah. Young Joe, with his soft blond hair, deep voice, and arresting eyes, also has plenty of screen time, appearing some 15 minutes into the film wearing a low-cut shirt while riding a horse, no less.
Over two hours, fans of Taylor and Joe (Jaylor? Sawlyn?) learn quite a lot about the guy who's offered little for tabloids and gossipmongers alike to pick at. For starters, Joe is more than just a pretty face that can charm his way through anything while wearing a lot of heavy makeup (this is common throughout the movie). Below, some other things you might ponder on once the credits are rolling.
He's pretty good with horses.
As mentioned, his first scene in The Favourite involves arriving on a horse. There's a lot of swerving around branches and leaves as Samuel tries to get a good look at Abigail for the first time. Nice work, Joe (and any horse trainers involved in the film).
Later, he helps Sarah onto her own horse following a heated scene between the three main women. A talented horse rider and a gentleman!
He looks pretty nice in a wig.
And makeup. And OTT courtier attire (think ruffles, gold buttons, colorful tops, and tights).Continue reading below ↓
He has great concentration.
No joke, Joe's character says the following lines in the movie: "Perhaps I should have you stripped and whipped" and "She does make my blood hot."
Both comments are about Abigail, not long after he sets his eyes on her. Both are said with a straight face. With concentration this strong, one can’t help but wonder if Joe and T-Swift have ever engaged in staring contests, and if Taylor has ever won.
I'm serious about this. On Samuel and Abigail’s wedding night, one expects sex while the other continues to plot her way to the Queen’s inner circle. This leaves Joe to say, point blank: "I am as hard as a rock."Continue reading below ↓
He can dance. Like, really dance.
The stuff you see in the trailer is but a fraction of what Joe actually gives the audience. In fact, the entire dancing sequence, which unravels during a royal party, deserves to be released as a music video. He waddles. He walks on his arms (like a lobster). He wraps and spins Rachel Weisz around his body like they're on Dancing With the Stars. And he does all of this with so much flexibility and a straight face (see #3 again). Please, T-Swift, put your boy in your next music video so he can do the dance again.
He's game for anything.
Be it getting (fake) bitten by Emma Stone following a kissing scene, getting slapped (twice), or getting kicked in the balls. @The Rock, if you are reading this, please cast Joe in your next action film.Continue reading below ↓
He loves nature.
That, or he was really feeling it when the movie asked him to frolic in the leaves while trying to chase Abigail around. And at this lovely shot of Joe beside a vase of flowers/old parsley. Print it and frame it!
Joe can blow smoke rings.
Like Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic, Joe Alwyn is someone who can smoke a cigarette and follow-up with a literal smoke show. That, or (just like Titanic) the CGI is really, really good in this film.Continue reading below ↓
His O face is quite tame.
As mentioned, Samuel and Abigail get married and on their wedding night, Samuel is looking to get it on. Distracted by her professional plans, Abigail gives her new husband a hand job. A few short groans later, the job is finished, leaving the audience to take home the images of Joe pre-, during, and post-climax.Continue reading below ↓
He has a nice body.
Another highlight of that wedding night is Joe appearing shirtless and giving the audience the greatest gift of all: a brief shot of his abs.
He possesses a range of emotions. All you have to do is look at his face.
Unlike the red carpet, where Serious Joe can often be found working all his angles in front of the cameras, The Favourite is a place where Goofy Joe comes to life. What a face.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.