1. It seems to be happening more and more often. It's normal to fight sometimes, but if you feel like even a "Can you pick up Bagel Bites on the way home?" text turns into an e-screaming match, it's time to look at what the hell is up with you two.
2. When you're done fighting, you realize you can't even remember what the other person said. If you're tuning him out because you feel like he's being a jerk or you feel like you don't even want to hear what he has to say because you're right and he's wrong, then you've stopped actually listening to each other, which is maybe the biggest problem you could have (outside of physical violence, obviously, which is easily the biggest "this is a problem, seriously leave if you can safely leave" problem). Which leads me to...
3. If it's begun to get physical. It can start off small, with someone pushing you to make a point or something, but that's enough to be concerned. There's no reason for him to ever become physically violent with you or the other way around. None.
4. You've started keeping track of who's "winning." If there's a scoreboard in your head for how many times you've come out of each fight victorious, you've also forgotten that this is supposed to be your partner, not your verbal boxing opponent.
5. You've started avoiding being around them because you know even being in the same room will lead to a fight. If you can't even be in the same room with him without wanting to verbally chop his head off with a weapon from Game of Thrones, yeah, I'd say that's a problem.
6. Your friends are telling you to just break up already. Everyone understands that couples fight and it doesn't mean they need to end it, but if your friends are so over your back-and-forth bullshit that they're all like, "Enough! End it. You're not happy!" they're probably right.
7. Even when you settle issues, they're still not really settled. If you're saying you're fine, but then inside you're angrily scribbling in your journal about what a cock ring your partner is, that probably means things are never really good between you two anymore because you've never given them the chance to be. Plus, he doesn't know you're still upset, so he doesn't have a chance to rectify the situation.
8. When you fight, you bring up all your past fights too. If you're going into each fight with unaddressed rage from previous fights, then they've basically become a bunch of rat tails tied together to form one gigantic, unstoppable monster rat that's impossible to contend with.
9. If you find yourself saying something really awful and realize you meant it. If you find yourself saying something really awful to your partner and your instinct isn't to say, "I'm sorry, that was mean," but instead to stand your ground because you totally feel that way, that's not great.
10. When one of you threatens to break up at some point during your fights. So then your life together is always one fight away from The End? Not healthy.
11. You can't remember the last time you two even had fun together. Because if you're not fighting, you're sleeping. There's no third option. You poor human person, you need to talk to him about this. That is not how relationships are supposed to feel and it can get better.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.