1. Sleeping with guys who want you to go down on them but won't go down on you. Let's just put this right out there: Your vagina is not weird or gross. You taste great and fine and definitely not any worse than he does. There is no reason he can't go down on you, especially if you're going down on him. The end.
2. Telling him you had an orgasm when you didn't. Guys get so angry about women faking their orgasms, but the truth is, most of us fake it because we don't know we can say, "I do not like this and you did not get me off," because guys can be such dicks about this. Still, trust me when I say, if you're not getting off, either help him get you off or walk out that door ASAP.
3. Not asking him when he was last tested for STDs. So many of my friends just sleep with guys and pray that they don't have STDs or get tested after, which is insane because by that time, if he had something, you have something. It is the most grown-up, in-charge-of-your-shit thing to ask a guy when the last time he was tested before you sleep with him.
4. Not admitting if something is actually hurting you. Unless the guy's a complete monster (and if he is, why are you sleeping with him, precious human?), he does not want you to be in pain during sex stuff! But he can't know that you're in pain unless you say so. You don't have to yell it, just say, "Oh, ow." and he will say, "Oh, sorry, are you OK?" and you will say, "Yeah, that just feels shitty," and he will change his position. That is literally how I do it. Feel free to copy.
5. Making noises like something feels good when really it does not. If you're moaning like this is the best sex you've ever had, he will have no way of knowing that in reality, this sexual experience will be mocked by you and your friends for the next six months because it was so awful. So just try to redirect him or don't make any noise until he asks you why you look bored.
6. Not just straight-up asking him for what you want. He can't read your mind, though I know that's what we all want in that moment. You don't have to demand it with a leather whip, but just saying, "I liked it more when you went faster," will go along way. Operate under the assumption that he wants to do what works for you and try it a few times. I swear it gets easier.
7. "Freshening up" before every single hookup. I get it, you want to feel your best and most confident, but it's also fine to not interrupt the mood to go brush your teeth. Just nail each other. Who cares?
8. Not having sex because you haven't shaved. Whether it's your legs or your vulva, I highly doubt any guy has ever been like, "What is this half inch of hair on your legs? Please take your body away from me. I would rather be alone." You're gorgeous. It's fine.
9. Not telling him the reason you don't want to have sex is because you have your period. Doing the coy, "I don't know, I just don't feel well," is more likely to result in a long conversation and him bringing you soup because he's confused. Men know we get periods. Just tell him.
10. Telling him to "forget it" because you feel like it's taking you too long to come. I wish I could take back every time I've done this, but instead, all I can do is never do it again and help you not to do it either. Take as long as you need to. Give him pointers if need be. But if you're sitting there with a mental timer, you're not having fun anyway. Relax.
11. Trying to look sexy when you come. Focusing on that is taking you away from actually enjoying the fact that you're about to have an orgasm and that is horrible. Plus, FYI, you look sexy when you come. It's pretty much impossible not to.
12. Pretending sex with your partner is casual, when you secretly have feelings for him. Maybe you haven't defined it yet or you worry if you tell him, he'll leave, but either way, you're denying what you really want and settling for something that's never going to be what you want. Tell him, and if he's not into it, move on.
13. Worrying more about if you look fat than if you're enjoying sex. Spending the whole time trying to contort your body into looking thinner rarely leads to "Oh, that was the best sex of my life" and is more likely to result in "If I keep sucking in my stomach, I might faint." No, thank you.
14. Trying to figure out what your partner is thinking about. Does he think I'm hot? Is he enjoying this? Is he thinking about someone else? Let me answer these questions for you: Yes. Yes. If he is, he's a piece of poop on the highway. Focus on yourself.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.