4 Reasons Why A Crazy-In-Love Guy Still Won't Commit

A guy opens up why some men are reluctant to couple up.

He earnestly listens to your stories, cracks you up like crazy, and makes you feel especially taken care of. This promising rapport between the two of you has been the norm for some months now, and you feel it’s high time you become exclusive. But whenever talks of exclusivity surface, elusive suddenly becomes his middle name. It can be frustrating, but just like complex characters out of a local indie film, we men can be as layered as they come. Before you write us out completely, read on to realize the reasons behind our reservations.

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1. Fearing The Fallout


There’s an unspoken truth about how guys get when they’re in a relationship: They easily see their buddies less and get sucked into your life. “You can get drawn into her world when you guys start seeing each other. Honestly, I see my buddies a lot less now,” shares Louie, 22, an amateur surfer.  When we’re in too deep, we devote all our time and energy to you, which makes us conveniently drop all the other people in our life. Then, when it doesn’t work out, we’re left with nothing and no one. Unlike you, we don’t have an army of girlfriends to comfort us, and we’re scared of having to go through that downward spiral alone. So, make him step up to the plate by encouraging his friendships with the fellas. 

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2. Shot By A Stun Gun

During the initial dates, we tend to notice your dazzling hooks—that musical pitch in your laughter and that endearing dimple on your cheek—and focus on just those. On the contrary, women are able to look further ahead. “It took me and my girlfriend some more months of dating before we became official,” says Adrian, 26, call center agent. “I just wanted to take my time to really get to know her.” We do get there in time, but our commitment clock runs at quite a different pace.

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3. Derailed Dreams

A man can be so driven by ambition that he can fail to appreciate what’s right in front of him. And, as perceived go-getters, some guys may see being in a relationship as a distraction from their ambition. “Being committed to someone can definitely have implications on your professional goals. But, it doesn’t mean we don’t care at all,” says Manoy, 27, an assistant brand manager. To modify his mindset, make him see that having a serious relationship with you is fulfilling by being a supportive better half.

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4. Feelings Of Inadequacy

Even when things are going so well, we have the tendency to think we’re still not good enough for you. That’s just the way it is. We want to be the best version of ourselves when we commit and decide to be part of a couple. “At first, I feared commitment because I thought I had little to offer her,” says Dustin, 20, college student. It’s not an insecurity issue; it’s more about feeling that we can still improve on much more for your sake and ours.

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