- Get to know you.
“The only way for a woman, as for a man, to know herself, is through creative work on her own,” says Betty Friedan, author of The Feminine Mystique. Define who you are. Know what you want. And discover what your special qualities are that make you different. “When you truly know yourself, you can make more realistic relationship decisions,” says Peter Hector, author of Love No Guarantee.
- Take responsibility for your own happiness.
No one else can make you happy but yourself. Learning how to create your own happiness alone is a key part of building self-confidence, says US-based psychologist Tom Stevens, PhD. “If you believe that you can take care of your own needs well and be happy even if you are alone, then being alone is nothing to fear.” He adds that creating a happy “self” makes you more confident and attractive.
- Follow your tummy.
Your instincts are your first line of defense against danger. Whenever they tell you something is wrong, they’re usually right.
- Broaden your mind.
“Question and discard thoughts like, 'This is the only person I can be happy with,'" advises Stevens. Hector adds: “Modify your perception of Mr. Right.” Change your outlook. “Your image of Mr. Right might be a lifelong fantasy that bears no relevance to the person you are.”