Touching a man near his package in any way—with your hand, with your mouth, with your grocery cart at the store—is usually good enough to rev his engine. But "good enough" isn't always good enough. Like you, guys desire many sensations all over their body. "Exploring different forms of touch boosts his excitement and enhances his pleasure," says Patti Britton, PhD, author of The Art Of Sex Coaching. So, give him the scratch, squeeze, and bite—yes, bite—he craves.
1. The S-Stroke Scratch
While a soft, tingly touch might do it for you, men like the hard stuff. So, if you want him to get the same feel-good effect, you have to be a bit more pointed. "Start with a gentle caress, then begin raking his bare skin with your nails for a sharper, more acute pleasure," explains sex therapist Ian Kerner, PhD, author of Passionista. "Plus, if you move your nails in a swirling, circular pattern, rather than just up and down, it's a more unpredictable motion—his nerve endings are more engaged and more receptive because they aren't sure where you're going next."
Different pressures will be needed for different parts of his body, which vary from guy to guy. As for where to start, try his head. Try letting him lay his head on your lap and graze your nails over his scalp--it can be incredibly relaxing...and when he's relaxed, it's more likely he'll get turned on.
When his scalp is satisfied, take off his clothes and have him lie on the bed. Gently drag your nails in an S-motion up his arms, over his chest, down his torso, and up and down his legs. As you get near sensitive spots like his nipples and inner thighs, teasingly veer, building up the anticipation and keeping him in sexual suspense. You can even make missionary sex more enticing by dragging your nails over his back and butt. And, since the skin is particularly tough on those areas of his body, you can really go to town.
2. A Tight Grip
You might think his package needs to be handled with care—and it does, to a point—but men actually love a hearty squeeze. It's not that a gentle touch doesn't feel good, but after years of masturbating and not being at all gentle about it, some guys have been conditioned to require a firm grip in order to get off.
You don't have to wait for your guy to offer a demonstration. A good rule of thumb, according to Kerner, is to handle his penis the way you might hold a full water balloon—tight enough to get a good grip, but not so tight that it would break.
Of course, he'll love a super-close fit during intercourse as well. You can enhance your hold on him by squeezing the PC muscles when you are controlling the motion in girl-on-top. You can also create more friction and tightness with a modified doggie-style—assume the position and then, once he's entered you, lower yourself flat onto your stomach.
Even in missionary, you can create a tighter sensation. Bring your legs together toward your head, then turn your body to the left or right, lowering your legs toward the bed. You'll end up in a near-fetal position—on your side with shoulders and head facing upward for eye contact and kissing—while he holds himself above you in a push-up position.
3. A Rough Touch
Handcuffs and leather collars may not be your thing, but that doesn't mean you should be afraid to get aggressive during sex. "Studies show that the more a person is sexually aroused, the more receptive he or she is to pain," Kerner says. "When you get a bit forceful with your man in the act, it gives him an added rush."
Of course, you never know how your man will react, so start slow. Kiss your way down his neck and around his shoulders, surprising him with light, playful love bites and nibbles as you go—hard enough for him to feel it, but not hard enough to leave teeth marks that his coworkers will gawk at. It snaps his nervous system to attention, giving him jolts of added pleasure.
4. A Wild Clutching
When you're consumed with how good he feels, you just have to have more. The noise you make may let him know that you're blissed out, but when you grab at his flesh, he knows that your animal instincts have taken over. "It's a primal reaction to grip at his skin and pull him toward you," Britton says. "It shows that you're so caught up in the sensations and the moment, you can't control yourself, which is a huge turn-on and ego boost for him."
5. Alternating Hot And Cold
A hot bath on a chilly, rainy day is as soothing as diving into a cold pool on El Nino-level days. Why? Because of the contrast. Well, those same sensations can come into play in the bedroom as well.
"When you warm his skin and then follow it up with shots of cold, it gives him an electrifying jolt," explains sex therapist Sandor Gardos, PhD, founder of mypleasure.com. "When you do the reverse, cooling his skin and then heating it up, it has a relaxing effect." Either way, variations of hot and cold—not scalding and frostbitey—during sexual play will engage his body as his nerves prepare for the next dip or jump in temperature.
There are plenty of warming and cooling lubes worth trying during massage, manual action, and intercourse (experts suggest sticking to silicone or water-based formulas that don't contain pepper or menthol). But during oral, why not go with something a little more delicious? Bring an ice pop into the bedroom (alternatively, an orange ice cup is more manageable), take a bite out of it, and then head below his belt. While the cold from the ice will put a chill on him, the warmth of your mouth and breath will temper it, so he'll get equally pleasurable waves of cold and warm.
6. The Smoothness Of Your Body Against His Skin
Guys are rough, hairy, and unexfoliated. So, one thing they especially love about women is the silky feel of their bodies. "Your soft skin and fleshiness are a sexual indicators to a man of your femininity and sensuality, often more so than visual cues," Britton says.
If you know you're going to see your guy, prep your body beforehand by applying a gentle salt scrub in the shower, followed by a thin layer of moisturizer—it'll leave your skin super-soft. Then, once you're in bed together, take his hand and gently glide it all over your body: up your legs, over your stomach and breasts, and down your back and arms.
Yes, yes—that's the last thing men want when it comes to relationships. But, being treated to a little between the sheets is a different story. According to Kerner, building up the blood pressure in a guy's penis intensifies his erection and makes the sensations all the more pleasurable for him.
So, how exactly do you do that? By clamping the base of his penis with your fingers. Sounds like it could be unpleasant, but trust us, he'll love it. "Take your thumb and middle finger and use them to make a tight ring at his base, which will trap the blood in the shaft and build up the orgasmic power," Britton explains. "Then, right when he's ready to go over the edge, let go—it'll give him the sensation of sexually exploding."
If you're comfortable using props, you can achieve the same effect with a soft elastic headband during intercourse. Just wrap it around the base of his shaft several times so it's snug but not painful, and wrap the excess around your fingers. When he's about to climax, release the fabric to intensify his blast-off.
5 Sensations Never To Treat Him To
- The Scrotum Stranglehold
- The Cheese-Grater Rubdown
- The "Can You Tell I Had Onions Tonight?" Earlobe Blow
- The Turn-Your-Head-and-Cough Massage
- The Blue-Balls Stroke