It seems like every day heterosexual women are taking to the Internet to seek relationship advice because of their crappy boyfriends. First, we had the incredible woman who said her partner wouldn't introduce her to his friends because she wasn't "attractive enough"—I know, this shit is real—and now we have another super disheartening post from a woman desperate for advice.
Lumpspacecupcake explained on Reddit that she was feeling pretty low because her boyfriend refused to give her oral sex. Calling herself "overweight," she explained she currently weighs around 238lbs. and her boyfriend weighs 1196lbs.—and that they have been working out and dieting together. "I want to lose weight for myself and I will," she writes. "He's very supportive."
But then she goes on to explain that he "loves giving head," as does she, but "he's admitted he isn't interested in giving oral due to my weight. He wasn't into it." She says she doesn't "fault him" and that this was the first time she'd ever asked for oral sex. They have been together for a year. "How do I deal with this?" she asks. "I'm upset."
Now call me a cynic, but isn't your partner meant to make you feel great and supported and sexy? Not that it's all down to them to give you confidence and accept your own body, but this woman clearly wanted to be pleasured. Everyone has their preferences and boundaries when it comes to sex. If he doesn't like eating women out altogether, that's his prerogative, but that's not what he's saying. He's saying it's a giant "no" because of his girlfriend's size. Imagine how hurtful and soul-destroying that must be to hear from someone who's meant to love you. For him to use her weight as an excuse not to return the favor is actually abhorrent.
Obviously, the Internet agreed.
"There's a difference between saying, 'I'm sorry but I'm just not comfortable with giving oral sex' and 'I love oral on everyone but you because you're overweight.' The latter is damned hurtful. I'd talk to him about how what he said was actually quite thoughtless and has really affected you." pekes86 wrote.
Others were more blunt: "Bottom line, he's a selfish lover...selfishness will prevail, not wanting to orally please you is [are] going to get sexually frustrating fast and hurt your self- image. Especially when he's getting and wanting it from you," verfeso commented.
"Girl leave him. You're worth so much more than him. He's just a selfish asshole who does not care about your feelings or pleasure. No decent human being would actually say that to someone they cared about. Dump him." Megsykins advised.
In response to people freaking out about what he's said to her, she responded, "He's told me very gently that's what it is. So once I lose weight, he'll be interested in performing oral." To which xorchids replied, "Losing weight is about so much more than getting oral sex. You are not a dog. Oral sex is not your treat when you lose X amount of pounds."
While Reddit has somewhat of a bad rep for toxic masculinity and douchey posts, this proves it's fast becoming a space for women to talk anonymously about their feelings. Most women respond with honesty and kindness and that's a great thing to witness.
Let's just hope this woman talks her boyfriend about it because it's never okay to make someone feel so crap about themselves.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com/uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.