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6 Doggy-Style Sex Struggles And What To Do About Them

Doing it from behind never felt so good.
PHOTO: Nick Onken

When you think of doggy style, you probably think of kneeling on all fours while your partner grabs your hips and enters you from behind ... but this isn't the only option. This position is easy to modify, which is good news for those of us for whom it doesn't work perfectly every time. Ahead, six common doggy-style struggles and what to do about them.

1. The penetration feels too deep. 

Doggy style often allows for deeper penetration than other positions, one of the reasons so many dudes love it (to say nothing of the view). Deep penetration can be painful, though, especially if you're not fully turned on: Not only do you get wet during arousal, your vagina also expands and elongates, so don't skimp on foreplay before doggy-style sex. Aim for a 20-minute warm-up (one study found that women reported this to be their ideal amount of foreplay), and don't forget the lube. If your partner is still slamming into your cervix, have them take shallower thrusts, yes, but also remember that you can control the motion too. Experiment with having your partner stay still while you move side to side, up and down, back and forth, or in circles. Bringing your knees closer together will bring your butt cheeks closer together too, forming more of a cushion between your vagina and the penis or dildo. You can also arch your back more deeply so the penis or dildo is redirected to the sensitive front wall of your vagina.

2. The penetration doesn't feel deep enough. 

If the giver isn't getting deep enough for you, an accessory can help. Try Sportsheets' I Like It Doggie Style Strap, which comes in both standard and "plus-size" versions and will make you wonder how you ever did doggy without it. When the giver grabs onto straps rather than hips, they have greater leverage and ability to adjust the angle of the receiver's pelvis, meaning deeper penetration and less strain on the receiver's back. You can also try variations on the classic kneeling-on-all-fours position: When you're standing with your feet spread apart, for example, your partner can spread your butt cheeks further apart for better access.

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3. You're uncomfortable without belly support. 

Some people report that they don't like their bellies hanging unsupported during doggy style. If you're one of them, check out the Liberator Wedge, which is essentially a triangle-shaped pillow you can lie across during rear-entry sex (and so much more). If you don't want to invest in sex-specific bed trimmings, stacking literally any old pillows underneath you will work as well, or lie over the edge of a bed, table, chair, or couch.


4. Your vagina isn't lining up with the penis or dildo. 

While a height difference outside of the bedroom ain't no thing, during doggy style, you want your parts to align with your partner's. Again, a doggy-style strap can help tilt the receiver's pelvis to a more convenient angle, as can the Liberator Wedge: Kneeling on the wedge with your knees on the lower side will both raise your pelvis higher than it would otherwise be and angle it upward. You can also try kneeling on the bed while your partner stands on the floor next to it, or lying stomach-down on the edge of the bed with your knees on the floor while your partner kneels behind you. Another technique to try: Lie down on your belly and have your partner enter you, then slowly raise yourselves up gradually. This may take some practice and possibly a collapse or two, but it's a good way to find your doggy-style sweet spots.

5. Doggy style feels impersonal. 

While I think that much of the allure of doggy style lies in how primal it seems, maybe your beef with it is that it doesn't feel sensual enough. But there's no rule that doggy style has to be fast, hard, or rough. If you like, forego the dirty talk in favor of affectionate words and have your partner skip the ass-slapping and hair-pulling to stroke your breasts, back, hair, butt, thighs, neck, and clit. Slow the pace, and voilà, you've done it: You've made doggy style romantic. Eye contact still isn't part of the equation (unless you're doing it in front of a mirror, which I highly recommend), but the trust implied when you aren't looking into someone's eyes during sex can be hot in its own right.

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6. You're not getting enough stimulation. 

Doggy style can be light on the clitoral stimulation, so it's up to your and your partner's fingers, plus any toys you want to introduce, to take care of that gap. Your partner can use a longer, curved vibrator like Jimmyjane's FORM 6 to reach your clit and shouldn't neglect other erogenous zones, such as the underside of your butt, the back of your neck, and your anus. In fact, anal play can be the key to mind-blowing doggy-style sex, whether that means your partner's finger is inside or around your anus or you're rocking a butt plug or dildo in there. For sensory overload of the very best kind, try doggy style sex with a butt plug inside and fingers or a vibrator on your clit.

Follow Hayley on Twitter.

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.