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4 Sex Positions That Won’t Really Make You Orgasm

These moves are anti-climactic, literally.
PHOTO: Chris Clinton

Reaching the big O depends on a number of things. It could be that you don’t know what positions work for you; you’re not feeling the rhythm; you’re too tired or stressed or weren’t really in the mood to have sex in the first place; you’re not feeling your partner; and so on. Apparently certain positions do make climaxing difficult for some of us ladies. This isn’t to say we should avoid them at all costs (unless they actually hurt us), but rather to not bank on these for our utmost pleasure. Here’s a list of them and why they might be making it hard for us to orgasm:

1. Doggy style

This is painful for some women, because guys who ram us from behind can hit the cervix. If you know how that feels, you know that there’s no way that kind of pain can be hot.

If you’re craving intimacy or romantic sex or depend on it to orgasm, this position will not take you there for obvious reasons. You can’t even see any part of your boyfriend like this! And if he’s not even kissing your shoulders or your neck—ugh.

The fix: Not all positions where your partner is behind you hence unseen will hinder you from climaxing. Lie on your belly with your butt lifted so he can enter you. This way your bodies are together and you can tilt your head to see his face. The angle of his thrusts might be much, much more pleasurable too.

2. 69

It’s difficult for some of us ladies to get in the zone and pretty much immerse ourselves in all that sexual goodness if we have to think about pleasuring someone else too. It’s either we focus on what’s happening to our bodies or we give our undivided attention to our partner’s. So if you’re not one to multitask, 69 is either off your list or in it just as a starter.

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3. Missionary

This position needs some amplifying to make you orgasm. As it is, it usually doesn’t hit the right spots or it just doesn’t make his penis feel big enough. And if you want something steamier you’ll really need to make some adjustments for this one. Place your legs over his shoulder while he thrusts instead of wrapping them around his waist—this lifts your pelvic region and makes it easier for him to hit the G-spot. Or have one leg over his shoulder and the other one down. Spread your legs more or wrap them more tightly. See which works for you and enjoy!

4. Girl on top

If you don’t know how to make yourself orgasm, this position that gives you full control will just lead you bouncing away until your thighs get sore. But don’t worry about that so much. With much practice and experimentation, you’ll figure out what will blow your mind.

Also, you won’t get an orgasm if you’re busy worrying about how your body looks, as in, if it still looks sexy to him from his point of view. Self-consciousness and insecurity can wipe out all signs and feelings of arousal; you’ll dry up down there and maybe even want to stop having sex entirely, leaving him confused at best, and hurt that you think lowly of him at worst. While it can strike at any moment, your self-consciousness is likely to rise when your whole body is exposed with jiggling parts.

It’s not practical to ban a position because of a low self-esteem. Since the issue here is the latter, which is bound to strain other aspects of your relationship and surface at other times, you’ll need to work on truly loving yourself and trusting that your partner loves and desires you for you.

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