You are both committed to making sure the other orgasms.Look, everyone knows there are days where it's just not going to happen for some people, despite your best efforts. But either way, you both walk away satisfied because you care about your partner having fun. You know each other well enough that you almost function like a pit crew, if a pit crew’s job was to jerk off a racer until he came instead of changing his tires.
Consent and communication are natural, easy parts of the process.You never hesitate to ask for exactly what you want and ensure your partner is on board before you get to the good stuff.
You’re both willing to try just about anything once—within reason.You’re open, you’re trusting, and you’re willing to experiment. You’ve ordered toys and outfits online just because they looked fun. It’s why your sex life still feels fresh, and why you pray your neighbors never accidentally receive your mail.
Your foreplay is better than some people’s intercourse.You don’t even think other people could handle your foreplay. It’s a miracle you even make it to the sex, sometimes. You know that sex can mean a lot of different things, and you're not boxed in to any one definition. Penetration alone is overrated.
But you also know when to skip to the main event.You both appreciate a good quickie. Sometimes you just can’t devote an hour and a half to making out, exploring each other’s bodies, and humping away while staring into each other’s eyes. Sometimes, you just need to squeeze some sex it right before you go out to meet your friends for brunch.
You split the effort.It’s not one of you on top doing all the work. Just like with anything else in a relationship, sex is best when you share the responsibilities in a way that makes you both happy. And it *definitely* makes you both happy.
You don’t always take sex that seriously.You can laugh when one of you snorts, or roll with it if you fall off the bed. As far as you’re concerned, sex can't really be “ruined.”
You need to recover afterwards.Your sex is like an Olympic-level event. You both leave it all out there. You need fluids and rest and maybe an ice bath afterwards.
You’re both incredibly giving.You could go down on each other for hours and not mind. You get off on getting each other off, and then that gets your partner off, which gets you off. It’s like a sexy mobius strip.
You’ve lost countless underwear and articles of clothing around your bedroom.Shirts and panties get flung off with such fervor that you can never find them again. They either entered a different dimension through some kind of horny magic or got wedged between the bed and the wall. Both scenarios are equally plausible.
Everyone you have over to your place thinks you really love candles.In reality, you’re just covering up the sex stank, because you just finished having sex.
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.