Sexting has become just as nuanced and varied as well… sex. Everyone has a different approach to how they take pictures and a different manner when it comes to their descriptions. These three guys weigh in on how they approach sexting.
How old are you?
Man A: Twenty-eight.
Man B: Twenty-six.
Man C: Twenty-four.
Which app do you use to sext?
Man A: I don't have anything particular. Just whatever I'm talking to her on. Usually Whatsapp.
Man B: Mostly Gchat.
Man C: Just good ol' iMessage.
What's the best sext you've ever received?
Man A: A girlfriend went away on business for a month and we pulled up our webcams and did it that way. It was awesome.
Man B: It was a video where she was masturbating and calling out my name. It was insanely hot.
Man C: Once, a girl sexted me after everyone else was asleep at a girls' night, and really got off on doing that while her friends were all asleep around her. And an out-of-town hookup sometimes sexts me talking about our next meeting, and that's always pretty fantastic.
Have you ever sexted in public?
Man A: No way. I think if I did everyone would notice how red my face was getting.
Man B: Yeah, for sure. I would never initiate it if I was out somewhere, but if the mood strikes her, I'm not going to turn something like that down.
Man C: A few times. Mostly during downtime at work, once or twice during class when I was still in school.
Have you ever carried on a sexting convo while just going about your day, running errands or whatever? Did you lie about your location to the person you were sexting?
Man A: I've tried to, but it's tough to get things done and also focus on sexting. Sexting requires my full attention. If she has to wait ten minutes for me to say something hot because I'm ordering food or something, it kills the whole thing.
Man B: No. I have never spent a whole day out doing that, but if I'm still at work a bit late or about to get home, yeah, I will bend the truth a bit.
Man C: Well, yes and no. I have sexted while doing normal things like being at work or being at the grocery store, but I'm usually honest about where I am—that slight kink factor almost makes it more fun though.
Which do you prefer: receiving or sending sexts?
Man A: Receiving. Definitely getting a real hot sext.
Man B: Initially I would have said "receiving" but now that I think about it, I love sending them and knowing I'm turning someone else on in that way.
Man C: With the caveat that one ideally leads to the other, I like sending them. I pride myself on being a writer, and knowing that my words are having an immediate and primal effect on another person is a huge bonus to me.
Are you an honest sexter? Like if you say, "I'm so hard rn," are you actually so hard rn?
Man A: I've definitely lied before, but just little white lies.
Man B: Generally, yeah. Unless I'm out or something but 90 percent of the time, I'm being honest.
Man C: Most of the time. Sometimes it's not exactly practical to be walking around pitching a tent but I usually will tell the girl I'm not really feeling it at the moment.
Have you ever faked a sext orgasm?
Man A: Yeah once or twice, if I was in public.
Man B: No way. It's not like it's difficult for me to not have an orgasm.
Man C: Not very often but sometimes I just wanna go to bed, you know?
Do you think anyone's ever faked a sext orgasm with you?
Man A: I don't think so, no.
Man B: I hope not, but I really can't say for sure. I would think if she's doing it herself she can take care of things, you know?
Man C: I like to think that's never happened, but sometimes other people just wanna go to bed too.
Do you plan on living out your sexts IRL? Like, doing the things you sexted about with your partner when you see her?
Man A: Yeah, I would say a lot of my sexts are like, "I can't wait to do this to you."
Man B: I guess so? My sexts are pretty detailed and graphic but I wouldn't say they're "adventurous" or out of the ordinary.
Man C: I usually do, depending on the partner and the conversation. Sometimes sexting with someone I haven't actually been with before leads to awkwardness when actually doing the deed, but sexting with a partner can be a good warmup if we want to try something kinky.
Are you more or less adventurous via sext compared to IRL?
Man A: More adventurous, for sure. It's not that I'm shy in person, but it's definitely easier to type some of this stuff out and not say it.
Man B: I'm a very sexual person. I don't think many people would be that surprised at how I sext.
Man C: Definitely more adventurous in sext.
Do you prefer to start a sext conversation or be surprised with a sext?
Man A: I love getting a sext.
Man B: I don't have any preference either way.
Man C: Surprise sexts are pretty awesome.
Would you ever sext with someone you'd never met in person?
Man A: I haven't, and I think I’d have to know for sure I wasn't getting catfished, but I'm not against the idea.
Man B: Yeah, and I have before. I have no problems with that.
Man C: Sure, isn't that what the Internet is basically built on?
Have you ever sexted via Tinder?
Man A: No.
Man B: I have never sexted in Tinder the app, but I have exchanged info with someone I just met on there and sexted, yes.
Man C: No, once we're at that point, I usually ask them to have mercy on my data and text me instead.
In sext pics, do you prefer full nudes or like, tease-y pics?
Man A: I like the pics that don't show everything. It gets me excited to see them in person.
Man B: I love a good nude pic, especially something really out there and graphic that just putts it all out there. But not right away. I like being teased first.
Man C: Tease-y nudes are better—full nudity is best discovered in person.
Does it bother you if you can't see someone's face in a nude pic?
Man A: No, I don't care about that.
Man B: It doesn't bother me because I get why someone would do that. But I do prefer to see a face. It feels more intimate and personal.
Man C: I don't have any real preference. Girls are usually more comfortable not showing their face in a nude, and I'm happy to accommodate that.
How do you feel about mirror selfie sexts?
Man A: The phone is almost always blocking the good bits.
Man B: I'm fine with them. Am I missing something? Is there a reason not to be?
Man C: I don't see any reason to be picky about nudes a girl is taking for me.
Do you have a policy about keeping or deleting any nudes you exchange?
Man A: I usually delete them soon after. My greatest fear is accidentally pulling one up at the wrong time.
Man B: I don't delete them but it's also not like I'm backing them up, either. And I obviously don't show them to anyone else.
Man C: I usually keep them unless the girl asks me to delete them.
What would you do if someone forwarded one of your sexts to a group text or put it online?
Man A: That's my worst nightmare, honestly.
Man B: I'd be pretty furious if it was one of my nudes. But if it was just a dirty text then… I guess whatever. Hopefully they'd be showing it off and not making fun of me, though.
Man C: As long as it wasn't an embarrassing one, I would pray I didn't misspell anything.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.