Kissing is often considered a means to an end. It’s how many couples kick off their sack sessions, but as soon as things start heating up, making out usually falls by the wayside. “Some people think that sex is so full of pleasure on its own that kissing isn’t important,” says clinical sexologist Krista Bloom, PhD, author of The Ultimate Compatibility Quiz.
And that’s a damn shame because locking lips throughout the sexual experience (and not just at the very beginning of getting busy) can make the pleasure skyrocket considerably. “There are tons of nerve endings in your lips that stimulate desire,” Bloom says. “Smooching before, during, and after intercourse can be extremely arousing and satisfying.”
However, not all puckers are created equal; the trick is knowing what mouth-to-mouth moves intensify each stage of sex. Luckily, we’ve gone ahead and mapped it out for you. Try these tips to kiss your way to total bliss.
1. Foreplay: Tease Him With Soft Pecks
Just as a runner needs to stretch before a race, your bod requires an equally strategic warm-up before launching into full-throttle passion. “You don’t want to come on too strong with your lips or you might accelerate his excitement too quickly,” says Bloom. Instead, ease him into the pleasure zone, gradually increasing his arousal. The slower the buildup, the bigger the bang.
- Give him little pecks all over his face—everywhere except the lips. As his excitement grows, trace the outline of his mouth with the tip of your tongue. He’ll be aching to envelop you with his mouth, but don’t let him do it...yet.
- Move on to open-mouth puckers, but no tongue allowed. If he tries to French you, pull away from him for a minute, then return to kissing. The point is to be playful and work him into a desire-filled frenzy by not giving him exactly what he wants.
- Add some playfulness into the mix by gently sucking and lightly nibbling on his lower lip every now and then. It will feel so good, he’ll instinctively return the favor.
2. During The Act: Bring It To The Boiling Point
Once you are both fired up, coy smooches just aren’t going to cut it. This is the perfect time to engage each other’s mouths, no tongues barred. “Passionate kisses elevate your blood pressure and cause your heart to beat faster, getting you more excited and making it easier for you to reach orgasm,” says certified sexologist Ava Cadell, PhD. Here’s how to stoke the flame:
- Strip down and tell him to sit on a chair. Then, straddle him so that you are eye to eye. As he focuses on thrusting, take his tongue into your mouth, and very lightly suck on it so your lip action mimics the rhythm of his hips.
- Vary the intensity and depth of the lip-locks you lay on your bedmate. Give him long, soulful French kisses for a couple minutes, then surprise him by keeping your lips open and pressing them against his—hard—like you want to devour him whole. Then return to the soulful French kissing. Maintain the back-and-forth so he can’t guess what’s coming when. Not knowing what you’re going to do next will amp up his excitement even more.
- You should let him know the passionate pressure is quickly building inside you by switching up your moves and trying something even more erotic. Unlock your lips periodically, and swirl your tongue around his in a circular motion as if you were licking an ice-cream cone. He will love that you’re in control and essentially taking possession of his entire mouth.
3. The Big O: Let Your Inner Animal Loose
By the time you’re about to climax, let yourself go absolutely wild. Just follow your body’s cravings. “Being mouth to mouth as you peak can make for a much stronger, more intense orgasm because it’s such a carnal act—your senses of taste and smell and touch are all converging at once,” says Bloom. “It’s like you’re on sensual overload.”
- Softly suck on each other’s necks just as you’re about to reach your peak. The pressure of your lips against his skin will amplify the buildup you’ve been feeling inside and create an even more powerful need for that heavenly release.
- Run your tongue back and forth along the roof of his mouth. This is a place that rarely gets any attention; the more unique the sensation, the more exciting it is for him.
- Let him know how hungry you are for him by gently biting his back and shoulders, spots on his body that can take a little roughhousing. Place the skin lightly between your teeth and pull; then run your tongue around the area and kiss it.
- If you’re in a face-to-face passion position, supersize your orgasm by French-kissing him at the same time that you’re climaxing.
4. Afterplay: Take It Easy To Wind Down
Though you may want to keep the post-orgasmic embers burning, your guy’s fire is probably pretty much extinguished at this point. “After sex, sleep-inducing chemicals are released in men, so your guy’s mind and body will be more intent on sleeping than kissing,” says Bloom. But there are still ways for you to get the together time you crave.
- If his energy is depleted but you’re still jonesin’ for closeness, lavish him from head to toe with luscious kisses. Planting your lips on his face, shoulders, back—wherever—conveys warmth and tenderness without making him feel pressured to respond.
- Spoon him from behind, and kiss the nape of his neck as you sensually stroke his hair. This position lets him chill out while you get the post-sex canoodling you desire.
- When you’ve had enough and are finally ready for some shuteye, give him a quick, sweet peck to wrap up your evening of ecstasy.