Whether it's changing a flat or reaching for something on a high shelf, doing favors for you makes men feel useful and strong. Although we like it when you make us feel that way, the line has to be drawn somewhere. Just because he's your boyfriend doesn't mean he's your bitch. There are some things no guy wants to do...ever. Namely, these things:
- Hold Your Purse
When a guy awkwardly clutches a handbag, it's like he's cradling his amputated...ego. Yes, holding a handbag is like stamping "UNDER" on his forehead in big red letters, and other men are obligated to ridicule him.
"I was at an event with my girlfriend recently when she handed me her black patent-leather bag with big, shiny zippers on it, so she could go to the bathroom," remembers Ton, 25. "As soon as she left, a big, burly dude shouted 'Nice bag, pare!' and everyone looked at me and laughed." There's a reason bathroom stalls have hooks in them, ladies.
- Meet Your Ex
We understand that you have a romantic past, but don't expect us to want to have a beer with it. Meeting your ex just makes us think of you doing your ex, which sends us into chest-thumping, alpha-male mode.
"At a party, my girlfriend kept making me talk to her college ex...like she was trying to set us up," explains Matt, 32. "It devolved into us making pasikat with movie-quote knowledge. We looked like idiots." If a meeting is unavoidable, make small talk (please, no reminiscing) and then excuse us from the scene—ASAP.
- Help Out Your Friends
We understand that impressing your pals is part of the job, but we didn't sign on to be on-call errand boys. "After my girl's friend broke up with her guy, I helped her move, killed a mouse, and listened to her whine about her ex," complains Arjun, 27. "It was like being a sexless boyfriend...and she developed some twisted crush on me." See? We're so lovable, you should keep us all to yourself.
- Go To A Pilates Class
Couples Pilates classes are becoming more and more popular, while couples counseling rates continue to climb. Coincidence? We think not. "My girlfriend dragged me to a class. It was all women who looked at me like I'd just walked into their locker room," moans Dan, 29. Spending time in a girly gym class is a sure way to make any man surly and self-conscious...and we can think of far better ways to work up a sweat together.