Even as a guy, I’m all for some self-maintenance. Yes, I manscape. I don’t think the expectation of basic body-hair grooming is unreasonable, in the same sense that I also shower and cut my nails occasionally. So no, it doesn’t make someone an asshole to want their partner to trim things just a bit down there within their comfort level.
What does make someone an asshole is demanding their partner groom their pubic hair in a very specific way because that’s what they prefer. That’s some weird Christian Grey garbage, without all the perks of private helicopter rides and brooding stares to make it even remotely worth the trade-off. It’s a different story if you want to shave a certain way to make someone happy, so long as it also makes you happy. Hey, if it’s the summer solstice and you’d both get a kick out of shaving a ray of sunshine into your pubes, go for it!
But a recent Cosmopolitan.com survey indicated that 40 percent of men have asked their partner to change her pubic hair, compared to just 23 percent of women who have made that request. And no, I don’t know if these guys were barging into the room, screaming demands about pubes, and storming out, but it still raises an eyebrow. Who has the nerve to go around making requests that might make their partner feel like there's something inherently wrong with her body if it's not groomed just so?
For one, if a guy has some serious hang-ups about going down on a woman if her pubic hair isn’t up to his precise specifications, he should straight-up not be going down on women at all. Actually, he should probably voluntarily relocate to a desert island so he can remove himself from the gene pool. No one should ever feel forced to do something they don’t want to do, and guys like this who put their preference and convenience above a woman’s comfort and pleasure during sex don’t deserve girlfriends, case closed.
For another, why date someone who feels like they’re entitled to determine what you do with your body? If a woman made a request that felt invasive to me, I’d end the relationship. I don’t need any more of a reason than that. And neither should you. The scary bottom line is that men appear to be more comfortable asking for changes when it comes to women's bodies than women do of men. There’s no scenario in which that’s OK, and while it might not be a deal-breaker in and of itself, it’s pretty indicative that whoever wants you to style yourself a certain way isn't a great partner.
Plus, the bush is back. It’s everywhere. More and more porn stars are rocking it (not that you need to model yourself on stars, adult film or otherwise). Even the full bush Brazilian is a thing, apparently. Pubic hair is the new “no pubic hair.” Anyone who wants you to shear off all the hair in your bathing suit area is an old fuddy-dud. They’re not even with the times. Dude is probably still rocking a man bun and saying things like “on fleek.”
It’s your body, and it’s up to you what you do with it. There’s just no way anyone who requires you to maintain your body a certain way is worth dating. No one who is fussy enough to need your pubic hair shaved a certain way is giving you great orgasms. Unless this dude has a severe, medically documented phobia of hair, this is unacceptable. Do what you want with your body, and find someone who isn’t a giant baby and can handle a human body. Those guys are definitely out there.
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.