It’s completely normal to be 25 and have never had sex (or had it only a few times).Anyone who treats you like you’re broken because you didn’t spend your college years having as much sex as they did is not someone you need in your life. Let them brag about the truly mediocre guys they keep sleeping with for no reason (while judging you for not doing the same), and then move on with your life.
Wearing uncomfortable lingerie all night never pays off.I get angry and thus deeply disinterested in sex if I suffer through a thong, stiff lace undies, or an elaborate strappy playsuit that makes drunk peeing impossible.
LUBE. IS. YOUR. BEST. FRIEND.I will forever be salty about the fact that I had to figure this one out on my own because movies NEVER show people using lube! I legitimately had to wade through so much chafey dick to realize that I would hate sex if I continued like this. And then I bought lube, and sex has never made me wince in pain ever since! You just can’t count on being waterpark-wet every time or for the pre-lubed condom to not eventually turn into a friction-y hell. Anyway, lube is magic.
You’re not being a control freak if you give him specific coordinates during oral.I’d rather just say “a little to the left, no too much, move back, like half a centimeter—YESSSS” than sit there disappointedly hoping he’ll figure out the right spot on his own. This is MY time!
Never fuck a guy who argues about wearing a condom.It continues to amaze me just how many men try to pull the “Ok 60 percent on, 40 percent off?” compromise on something that could result in an unintended pregnancy or an STI. If he’d rather put you at risk or have you secretly worry during sex than very slightly reduce the feeling in his dick, that sex is not even remotely worth it. And having to explain this to him is the world’s worst foreplay, BTW.
If you never want to swallow after a BJ again in your life, LIVE YOUR TRUTH.LOL if a guy gives you some lame monologue about how intimate swallowing is as if this wasn’t invented by porn.
ALWAYS PEE AFTER SEX.Dealing with a UTI is never worth holding it in! He’ll still be naked and ready to spoon when you get back.
Tell your FWB if you caught feelings for them.The Cool Girl life hoping that if you hook up enough, he’ll ask you out in a rom-com-level way is deeply stressful. You may think you’re delaying heartbreak, but feeling depressed after every hangout and logging hours into interpreting his texts hurts so much more. He’ll either like you or he won’t; any non-answer in between tells you everything you need to know.
If your horrible ex texts you randomly over the holidays, he just wants sex.Oh, he happens to miss you right around the time everyone else is posting cute AF couple pics? The only thing that just grew three sizes is his dick.
Men who get insecure about adding sex toys to the mix will never make you happy.Orgasmically OR emotionally.
Invest in a quieter vibrator if you’re always paranoid about sound.Masturbating when living with three roommates and paper-thin walls is anxiety-inducing when your vibrator sounds vaguely like a chainsaw. Budget shortcut: Play music or a Netflix ep. Just don’t let your you-time be spoiled by feeling self-conscious the whole time!
69ing is a waste of everyone’s time and resources.It feels like a “who-can-make-the-other-orgasm-the-fastest” competition except you’re both greatly hindered by how physically uncomfortable you are.
A boyfriend who constantly pressures you for sex should be a BYE, FRIEND.There’s a difference between saying “hey, we haven’t had sex in months and it kind of worries me” vs. him pestering you and begging for it every single time you hang out. People go through phases of lower sex drives or, idk, get tired after work!
Finding the right birth control can take time, but it’s worth it.There’s a reason there are so many different types to choose from, and yes, it can be tough to experiment until you find one that is compatible with you, but it’s better to try a few than stay with one that worsens your period cramps.
Tell your guy to buy light-colored sweatpants.The silhouette of his boner through thick gray cotton is nothing short of art. You deserve this.
There’s still a lot to learn, which is the best part.Sexual experimentation is huge for keeping a relationship ~fresh~ or just feeling happier in general. The great thing about sex is how broad it can be, and how getting older and more confident just means you get better at asking for and trying the things you actually want.
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.