Let’s not be hypocrites: a person’s looks certainly play a big part in determining whether we find ourselves attracted to him or not. Though appearance is not the be all and end all of attraction, it’s what gets our attention, makes an impression, and sparks an interest--then, who knows, it can lead to something deeper.
However, should you turn the tables around--given that you’re already dating a certain guy and his personality just won you over despite his fashion sense--would it be selfish to change his default look just because it’s not in line with your taste?
They say if you love the person, "little" things such as wardrobe should no longer matter, right? So, when is it the right time to make certain suggestions? Or, should you even do so, at all?
He's Just Not That Into...Good Style.
First, determine what exactly you do not like about his fashion choices:
- Are they too loud? Too boring?
- Are they age inappropriate? Inappropriate, period?
- He has good taste but has the fit all wrong?
- He's too brand-conscious even if it doesn’t suit him or it's beyond his budget?
- He has no concept of mixing and matching?
- He only likes to wear what’s in magazines or TV but can’t pull them off?
- He just doesn’t care AT ALL about what he wears?
- He has questionable hygiene practices?
The questions above all pertain to specific issues HE may have. You may wish to address one or more of these to HELP HIM. So, here are some helpful hints for doing so:
If you truly wish to help your partner, address the problem together, like you would with any other issue. Rather than impose that he should wear clothes he may never want to wear, make him understand the value, function, and validity of your suggestions by shopping, browsing online, or looking at magazines together so you can come to a compromise.
- Connect The Polka Dots
Once you’ve done this, take baby steps by changing one item of clothing at a time. Remember, like training a baby, you are weaning him off specific items of clothing he finds comfort in. Letting go and making a change is never easy--even if it's as simple as changing white socks to black socks with dress shoes.
Remember ladies, men think in a linear way. They need to find logical sense in your artful suggestions. So do it one step at a time.
It's Not Him, It's You.
Then again, if none of the earlier questions fall under your train of thought, ask yourself if these could be the reasons behind your disapproval:
- You don’t think it’s stylish enough.
- Your friends won’t stop teasing you about it.
- Your parents don’t approve of his too edgy bad boy style.
- He doesn’t measure up to your great personal style.
- You want him to always be arm-candy material.
- He only likes to wear generic brands.
The questions above have something to do with issues YOU may have, which don’t necessarily pertain to your partner at all. If your dilemma falls under any of the above categories, realize that you might want to address these issues because you want to APPEASE YOURSELF.
There’s often a fine line between supposedly wanting the best for our partner and only trying to use that as a mask for our own insecurities. We never want to blame ourselves, especially if there are others we can conveniently put on the firing line (even subconsciously). However, no matter how much we try to change our partners, doing so doesn't really help us with our own inner demons. The problem is still there: just with way better-looking clothes.
Bottom line is, there may have never been an issue with anyone but you. No doubt, clothes are literally a security blanket for nearly everyone in this world. Yes, even for those who insist they don’t care. Oftentimes, people who say they don’t care use this mentality as a way of preventing rejection should anyone put them down for their appearance--best to beat people to the punch.
Whatever your stand is, keep in mind that you and your partner make fashion choices that reflect your values, personality, individuality, and even your own insecurities. And with these choices, respect must be given, unless it really is affecting specific areas of their progress at work, family, etc.
Do you girls think it’s really important for your man to dress well? Got any pet peeves about your guy’s so-called sense of style? Tell us when you comment!