8 Common Love Mismatches

Really think about it: Are you and your guy total opposites? Find out how compatible you'll be in the long run.

Opposites do attract, but that doesn't mean they can stand each other once the novelty goes. Experts say only certain odd combos work. Here's the scoop on eight of them.

Mismatch #1: He's in his 30s or up; you're in your 20s.
Chances of it working: EXCELLENT. An older guy tends to offer more stability and commitment than a 20-something one does--that is, he's (hopefully) past his beer-binging phase.

Mismatch #2: He's in his 20s; you're in your 30s.
Chances of it working: POOR. Most young dudes aren't into serious relationships yet. And whereas you may be thinking of starting a family, he most likely isn't.
How to beat the odds:
Guys in their 20s do settle down--it just may take him a while to get comfortable with monogamy, and not feel rushed into things. If you're game to play it patiently, you'll likely appreciate his idea of fun, his sense of adventure, his energy (especially in the sack), and how unjaded he is.

Mismatch #3: He has money; you're on a budget.
Chances of it working: GOOD. Men love showing affection by treating you to things you otherwise wouldn't have access to, so being able to do that will strengthen your bond.

Mismatch #4: You have money; he's on a budget.
Chances of it working: POOR. Men are still raised to believe that they need to be financially successful, so he'll probably feel like he doesn't measure up.
How to beat the odds: Play up his talents, whether it's his encyclopedic knowledge of current events or his amazing ability to work magic with absolutely anything electronic. Then, rely on his skills by asking him for help in those specific areas. When you let him prove how useful he is, he'll internalize that you need him and see himself as a strong partner.

Mismatch #5: He's introverted; you're extroverted.
Chances of it working: SO-SO. You'll want to share your social life. He may go along at first to please you, but once he pulls back, you may feel frustrated.
How to beat the odds: Sate your social-butterfly tendencies with your friends, and bring him only to the most important events. And, when he does come out, don't ditch him for the dance floor--make a point to introduce him to people and point out what they have in common, since introverts feel comfortable only when they're making a one-on-one connection.

Mismatch #6: He's extroverted; you're introverted.
Chances of it working: POOR. Social interaction provides fulfillment and status, so he'll expect you to hang in his world without getting clingy, quiet, or pouty.
How to beat the odds: Making the effort to RSVP yes to invitations will demonstrate that he matters to you. Just ask him to prep you on people's basics (their jobs, hobbies, passions, whatever) ahead of time. You'll feel better steeled to make small talk (even if you don't join the conga line). And, suggest easy double dates with his pals whom you know you like.

Mismatch #7: He's laidback; you're organized.
Chances of it working: GOOD. Though it may cause friction now and then, his laissez-faire attitude is likely part of what attracted you to him, and he'll help you loosen up.

Mismatch #8: You're laidback; he's organized.
Chances of it working: GOOD. Having someone who's so on top of things makes a woman feel secure. Plus, you'll both enjoy breaking him out of his routine.


Sources: Alon Gratch, PhD, author of If Love Could Think; Los Angeles relationship therapist Shannon Fox, PhD

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