At Cosmo, we're continually finding out about new ways to make sex more satisfying. And one of the sack session qerries we always face is--how to prolong your (and his) pleasure. Really now, what's more pleasurable than that moment of pure bliss during climax? The thing is, it doesn't have to be just a moment--experts have proven that it's possible to have an hour-long orgasm!
"You probably won't be able to climax continuously for 60 minutes," says Ian Kerner, PhD, author of Pas-sion-ista. "However, you can bring each other into a heightened state of arousal and pleasure for an extended period of time. And, being so turned on can result in a more intense orgasm that also lasts a few seconds longer." Sign us up!
Here, we're going to explain the theory behind the hour-long climax. Then, using some of those principles, we'll suggest a modified (that is, more realistic) way to amplify sex and your orgasm…minus the endurance test.
A One Hour Orgasm? What The Hell Is That?
Think about what happens physically when you're about to climax: Your muscles tense up, and you probably breathe more shallowly. Crossing the finish line feels like a huge release—as though you twisted up a garden hose and then let go.
According to Steve and Vera Bodansky, PhDs, co-authors of The Illustrated Guide To Extended Massive Orgasm, those reactions result in our getting ripped off in the orgasm department. "When you tense up, your blood vessels constrict, reducing the amount of oxygen and blood coursing through your body," the Bodanskys explain. "This causes your orgasm to be shorter than it should be." They claim that you can transform the entire sexual experience into one long, continuous orgasm.
The gist of what they recommend is this: First, you have to relax. Then, your partner touches and tantalizes you until you're at the brink of climax but without letting you tip over the edge. They call this hyper-aroused state an orgasm--just not the kind we're used to. Other experts counter that while these techniques can generate extreme bliss, most people wouldn't consider the outcome an actual orgasm. "There might be a handful of women who can have a true orgasm for minutes, maybe even an hour, but it's not possible for the majority of people," says Lou Paget, author of Orgasms: How To Have Them, Give Them, And Keep Them Coming.
Even if a 60-minute climax isn't in the cards, staying at a level eight or nine on the pleasure scale for an extended period sounds pretty great. Read on—we'll tell you how to get there.
Tips That Heighten Arousal
"The key to reaching that exhilarating about-to-orgasm zone is to get each other crazy turned-on and then dial it back when the other person nears climax," Kerner says. Once your partner has calmed down, build up the sexual tension again. This ebb and flow of intensity holds you in an elevated state of pleasure. Try these tricks:
Use teasing touches. Fully explore each other's erogenous zones, rather than zeroing in on the bull's-eye right away. "Lingering on the surrounding areas boosts blood flow, which increases arousal and sensitivity," Kerner explains. "It also enhances anticipation so that when you finally do turn your full attention to the genitals, they're more responsive." Stroke his inner thighs, pull his pubic hair, or brush against his package while making out. You can also kiss and lick him from his lips down his chest and abs, pulling away when you’re about to reach his penis.
When he's pleasuring you, ask him to swirl his tongue around your breasts, moving in tighter circles as he approaches your nipples. Another option is to have him hold a finger above your clitoris and tell you how he’s going to stroke it before making contact. "This heightens your awareness of the spot and makes you crave his touch," Steve Bodansky says.
Double up. "Touching your partner with both hands creates a multisensory experience that feels like a rolling wave of pleasure," Bodansky says. Stroke his shaft with one hand, and with the other, squeeze the base of his penis or lightly tug on his testicles. If he's stimulating you, "he should insert his finger and firmly, steadily press on your G-spot, located a couple inches in on the front wall of your vagina," Kerner suggests. "With his other hand, he can gently rub your clitoris." (Have some lube handy.)
Work this technique during intercourse, too. If you're in a position where your hot spots are easily accessible, he can reach down to stimulate your clitoris, and you can softly scratch his perineum (the smooth patch of skin between his testicles and anus).
Vary the speed. Switching rhythms will keep the momentum going without causing you to orgasm too quickly. When touching his penis, "start with long, slow strokes along his entire shaft, and then pick up speed, using faster, shorter strokes just on the head of his penis," Bodansky says. "Once he's quite aroused, bring him back down again by slowly, gently squeezing up and down the length of his penis." During oral sex, warm him up with licks along his shaft and the head of his penis, where he has the most nerve endings. To intensify things, move your hand firmly and rapidly up and down his shaft while simultaneously sucking on the head.
Your turn: Ask him to caress the tip of your clitoris gently with his finger or his tongue, using quick strokes. As your arousal builds, your clitoris will become more sensitive. So have him switch to long, slow strokes. He should soften his touch as necessary to keep you from climaxing.
Change the pacing during intercourse as well. Fluctuate between deep and slow penetration and quick yet shallow movements where just the tip of his penis enters you. Occasionally, shift into high gear with hard, fast penetration (you probably won't be able to sustain this for very long without coming).
Play with stops and starts. Another great way to keep each other simmering is to take mini-breaks mid-action to do something different. "Instead of moving linearly from manual stimulation to oral sex to intercourse, mix things up," Kerner recommends.
Press pause during oral just to kiss for a minute. If you're getting super worked up while having intercourse, have him pull out and spend a few minutes stroking each other or going down on each other. Or, take his penis and rub it against your clitoris.
Not only does this give you a chance to catch your breath, but it also introduces hot new sensations. When you jump back into the action, you should be even more riled up than before.
The Secrets To Intensifying An Orgasm
"Being in such a heightened state of pleasure will result in a more powerful orgasm—one that might last slightly longer as well," Kerner says. At the moment of climax, give some of these easy techniques a go. They'll send you to orgasm heaven.
For your orgasm:
Try to relax and breathe. "Oxygen gets your blood pumping, and that's what drives orgasms," Paget says. "The more oxygen you take in, the stronger and longer your climax will be. "Inhale and exhale evenly (it's natural for your breathing to speed up), and resist holding your breath.
Interrupting your orgasm for a split second also helps draw it out. "Have him pause for just half a beat and then resume whatever he was doing," Bodansky instructs. "Your climax will hold steady for a moment and then start again even more intensely."
Your pelvic muscles automatically convulse during orgasm. Extend those feel-good contractions by deliberately squeezing and releasing your PC muscles (they're the ones you use to stop the flow of urine) several times in a row as soon as you begin to peak. "This encourages further orgasmic ripples, keeping the effect going for longer than usual," Kerner says.
For his orgasm:
When he's about to climax during manual stimulation or oral sex, place the thumb of one hand over the head of his penis, and wrap the thumb and index finger of your other hand around the base. Squeeze for a second. "You're holding him back and also trapping the blood in his penis," Kerner says. "When you let go, he'll start coming again even stronger."
You probably intuitively speed up your movements during orgasm. Instead, progressively slow down (and if you're stimulating him with your hand or tongue, lighten your touch) when he begins to climax. "This prolongs the ejaculatory phase," Kerner says.
Flexing your PC muscles will lengthen his orgasm's lifespan, too. So during intercourse, rhythmically clench and relax your pelvic muscles as he’s coming. "Feeling you tighten around him magnifies each contraction, eking out every last ounce of pleasure for him," Kerner explains.