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16 Romantic Gestures You Can Do For Your Partner, Based On Their Love Language

Get them to feel all the ~kilig~.
romantic gestures based on love language

Being romantic isn't one of those things that comes naturally to everyone—mainly because people's affection preferences are different. But this, my friends, is where love languages come in.

Whether you're engagedmarried, navigating a situationship, or on a first date with someone new, figuring out someone's love language is kind of like a relationship-making superpower. It lets you know how that person likes to give and receive love. There are five love languages in total: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. And like I said, knowing which love language (or languages) make your partner feel special is the key to building a lasting bond.

(If you know your partner's love language already, you're already halfway there. If not, you can do a quick quiz to figure out. Easy, right?)

Now once you know both yours and your partner's love languages, it will be easier for you to do things that will show your person how much you care about them. Want some ideas? Here are 16 simple and easy romantic gestures that'll make your partner feel ~kilig~, all based on their love language. You're welcome!

  1. Send a random, middle-of-the-day text.

    Relationship expert Betsy Chung, PsyD, suggests a mid-day check-in as a simple way to let your partner know you're thinking about them. Ask how that big meeting went, how their day is going, or send them something flirty.

    Love Language(s): words of affirmation

  2. Cook them dinner.

    Getting home from a long day hangry and exhausted is the worst. That's why sexual health educator Jasmine Akins, founder of wellness blog It's Just A Coochie, says something simple like cooking them dinner can go a long way. Whipping up their favorite adobo so they don't have to think about what to eat after a 10-hour workday can make all the difference.


    Love Language(s): acts of service, quality time

  3. Get takeout and binge-watch your fave shows on Netflix.

    If cooking isn't really your thing, you don't have to do it. Darcy Sterling, PhD, host of E! Network's Famously Single and creator of the Jealousy Boot Camp, suggests something even easier like ordering food and watching whatever they want on TV. Choosing to indulge in some of their favorite things shows you pay attention.

    Love Language(s): quality time

  4. Take out the trash.

    Quick, simple, and sure to make a big impact, licensed clinical social worker and author of Writing With Love: A Guided Journal For Couples Ashley Starwood says something as simple as cleaning up for a few minutes is actually low-key super romantic.

    "Who doesn't love when you anticipate coming home to a mess and the house is clean?" she says. Spend five minutes picking up clutter, washing the dishes, and taking out the trash to switch up the aura in the home.

    Love Language(s): acts of service

  5. Stock up on their fave snacks.

    You might be a chips and cookies kind of person while they might prefer snacks and organic goodies. Jasmine suggests grabbing some of their favorite snacks the next time you're at the grocery to show you pay attention to what they like and what you are willing to adapt to. It lets them know that you respect their needs, and actually want them in your space.

    Love Language(s): acts of service, gifts

  6. Do a little something to ease their stress.

    If your partner has a super long to-do list or can't seem to check off that one task, don't be afraid to take the initiative for them. "Completing a task or chore for your partner because you see them stressed shows you care about their well-being," says Dr. Chung.

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    Go on and make their day by simply changing a lightbulb, walking the dog, or making that vet appointment. If they're more of the "let me do it" type, maybe find another way to ease some of that stress? *wiggles eyebrows suggestively*

    Love Language(s): quality time, physical touch, acts of service

  7. Clean their car.

    Whether it's picking up all of the trash in their backseat or quickly running through the carwash, giving their vehicle a spruce (or filling up their gas tank if they're a neat freak) is a winner. This is one of those unexpected romantic gestures many people don't normally consider but is sure to make anyone happy, no matter their love language.

    Love Language(s): acts of service, gifts

  8. Surprise them with a gift.

    If your partner's love language is gifts, learning to keep your eye out for ~the little things~ is an absolute must. Dr. Chung says picking up something small and sweet related to a special experience in their life "shows you pay attention." This means you should pick up a sunflower when you're at the market because that's their fave flower or grab those corgi socks you saw online because they're obsessed with corgis to tangibly show you care.

    Love Language(s): gifts

    man giving his partner a gift
  9. Send them a surprise to their office.

    Do you have a partner who loves attention? Think of ways to show a little PDA, suggests Dr. Darcy. If they're not working from home, consider "sending flowers, takeout, coffee, etc. [to their office]," she says. Not only will they get something unexpected and special in the middle of the day, but literally nothing feels better than rubbing your love—and yummy lunch—in your coworkers' faces.

    Love Language(s): gifts, words of affirmation

  10. Let them choose where you eat.

    "Compromise is great in a relationship, but sometimes letting the person choose their favorite place to eat—even if it's your least favorite place to go—is a great way to show your partner you love them," says Ashley. This doesn't mean you always need to go to the freaking Melting Pot, but a surprise date where they get to pick the spot with no hemming and hawing from you? Sounds like a dream dinner to me.

    Love Language(s): quality time, gifts

  11. Have a night focused solely on their pleasure.

    Maybe that means going down on them. Maybe that means a foot rub. Or maybe that just means serving them some fancy Korean corn dogs while watching their fave K-drama. Just spend an evening doing whatever it is that makes them feel good—as long as you're comfy with it too, of course—to show you care.

    Love Language(s): quality time, physical touch, gifts

  12. Have a movie night.

    "Spending time indoors can be boring, but it can also be a way to reconnect," says Ashley. "Put on a movie marathon, pop some popcorn, and watch your boo's fave movies with them." While that means you might be viewing every John Lloyd movie ever made, at least you get snacks and lots of cuddling. Worst case scenario, if you get bored, you could always take a sex break or two.

    Love Language(s): quality time, physical touch

  13. Plan a no-screen-time date.

    Okay, watching movies is great and all, but having a no-screens evening is essential for anyone who craves quality time. "Having a night full of board games, love quizzes, cooking together, etc. shows a desire to connect on a deeper level," explains Dr. Chung. So put your phones on "do not disturb," hide the remote, and do your thing.

    Love Language(s): quality time, physical touch

  14. Leave a handwritten note around the house.

    Some people need to literally be told how much they mean to you, so love letters are about to be your new BFF. Dr. Darcy suggests getting a cute notepad and surprising them with some simple messages. "[Do it] in the morning if you wake up before them, if you're going to be out without them and missing them, or to say you can't wait to see them again soon for those who don't live together," she says.

    Love Language(s): words of affirmation

  15. Pack their lunch.

    This is one you might not have really considered, but it's actually so adorable. If your partner is still heading into the office or class, why not pack their lunch so they don't have to buy food out? Jasmine suggests putting together something homemade and simple, like a sandwich, chips, and apple, that feels comforting and will give them the energy to tackle the day. You can also tuck a lil note in there if they thrive on words of affirmation as well.


    Love Language(s): words of affirmation, acts of service

  16. Start a new hobby together.

    One of the most romantic things someone can do is to show they actually want to spend time with you. Ashley says a great way to do this is to try something new together, like playing the piano, painting, knitting, or learning a language. Not only does this mean you won't just spend every moment together scrolling IG on the couch, but you might even become that couple who plays a gorgeous duet at the next Christmas party or talks sh*t about everyone else in Korean. What a concept, am I right?

    Love Language(s): quality time


This article originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors.


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