Confessions: What You Can Learn From The "Other Woman"

Want to avoid being cheated on--again? Here, mistresses tell all. It's time you read and learn more about your man.

It's a question that plagues all of womankind: Why do guys stray? Maybe it's boredom, commitment-phobia, immaturity, clinging-girlfriend syndrome, rampant and incurable jerk-ism...or a combination of factors. One thing is for sure: When it happens to you, suddenly you crave some concrete answers. And, who is better suited to supply them than the third person in this cheating scenario: the other woman?

You may find her repugnant, but wouldn't you also like to be a fly on the wall as she talks about what made your guy end up in bed with her (and what went down once he got there)? Cosmo convinced women who have carried out affairs with taken guys to reveal what they learned about men and infidelity. This is as close as you're gonna get to crawling inside a cheating guy's mind.

What Made Him Cheat

  • "They were in very different places in their lives: She was six years older than he was, finishing graduate school, and ready to settle down, get married, and have kids...and he wanted to have more fun." --Anna, 21
  • "He and his girlfriend were fighting about practical things, like spending money. He was a more carefree person. I think the affair was a way for him to live out a fantasy life and ignore grown-up responsibilities." --Dana, 23
  • "His girlfriend was straight out of How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. She was really jealous of everyone in his life and didn't let him have his guys' nights anymore. Kaka-sila pa lang when they moved in together only two or three months after they met...and then she quit her job so she could be around him more! He told me their apartment started to feel like a prison to him." --Becky, 26
  • "The girlfriend of a co-worker I started hooking up with was very insecure about their relationship and would text him every five minutes. We went on a business trip together, and she was calling him every hour." --Amanda, 26
  • "I used to be what I call a serial mistress, and my theory is that you can't wreck a happy home." --Tara, 36
  • "I was crazy and adventurous in bed with him, whereas she preferred to have sex and then go to sleep. And she would only have sex at night. He and I would hook up anytime, anywhere." --Jean, 24


How The Affair Began

  • "When I moved out of home, my boyfriend and I coincidentally split up, and he started seeing someone else. But, one afternoon, during a particularly tough bout of homesickness, I called him, and he drove over to be by my side...and didn't tell his girlfriend. We ended up sleeping together, and eventually, he was coming to visit me once or twice a week." --Amanda, 22
  • "We were coworkers, and we'd been flirting for a long time. Then, at our company Christmas party, everybody was drinking a lot...and we were all staying at a hotel because some employees had come from the province. When the night was over, he and I ended up in the same hotel room." --Dana, 24
  • "I met him when I was shopping for a laptop in a store he managed. He offered me a job as his assistant, and on my first day, our chemistry was so intense that we had sex right there in the store before it opened!" --Donna, 25
  • "We worked at a resto together, and when it closed, we would go for a late night drink somewhere else. One night, we got really intoxicated...and, well, that was the beginning." --Debbie, 33
  • "I travel a lot for work, usually with four other people. This one guy and I became good friends, and we'd often have dinner together and talk. He told me that he and his girlfriend hadn't had sex in four months. We became close, but nothing sexual happened until one night, when it just boiled over. When you spend that much time in those conditions with people, it's bound to happen." --Diane, 29
  • "I knew my ex had a new girlfriend, but I didn't care. I hadn't had sex in months...and he's just great in bed. I ran into him at the mall, and it was that instant attraction all over again." --Eliza,36


How He Got Away With It

  • "He would tell her that he was taking on extra shifts or had job training out of town. That way, we could spend time together at least two weekends a month. We'd also meet after work at least three times a week." --Claire, 30
  • "It seemed like the perfect plan: We were both in sales and were assigned to the same area. We hit it off instantly." --Kate, 23
  • "He would tell her he was going to work and instead come to my place for some early-morning action." --Tammy, 25
  • "We worked for the same events group, and at the end of each project on the weekends, we would have our own ‘after party.'" --Susan, 29


What "Other Women" Learn

  • "Ultimately, I realized that a lot of guys end up going back and having sex with an ex. Maybe it's just because it's familiar or maybe because they're trying to figure out whether breaking up was the right choice." --Debbie
  • "I always say that girlfriends are like speed bumps: They don't stop anything; they just slow it down. Because if a man is a cheater, no girl is ever going to change that." --Karen, 27
  • "She was the prototypical psycho girlfriend: really clingy and insecure. There's a limit to how far you can push a guy before he cracks." --Becky
  • "It's the thrill of the chase, honestly. They feel so naughty for doing something wrong, and when they don't get caught, it makes them feel invincible for a time." --Barbara, 21
  • "Check the cell phone bill for suspicious numbers. Make sure you have concrete evidence that he's cheating...or he will just take advantage of the situation and make you feel crazy." --Lisa, 21
  • "The truth of the matter was that he was immature and extremely insecure, so having two women want him at the same time made him feel better about himself." --Anne, 20
  • "I tell my girlfriends: If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you." --Anya, 26
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