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Relationships 101: Why Compatibility Is NOT Essential

Cosmo.ph columnist Bianca Valerio discusses why people with similar personalities don't always make the best love match.

It makes perfect sense to be drawn to someone similar to you. Studies have shown that narcissistic individuals are often (unconsciously) attracted to those who have nearly the same physical attributes, mannerisms, and the like. It's almost like looking into a mirror and admiring yourself.

But, here's something to consider: If one is drawn to someone similar to themselves, does that guarantee a happily-ever-after relationship?

Compatibility is something almost everyone looks for in a partner. This is a crucial factor for most in seeking happiness, companionship, and fulfillment--or so they say. But, having so many similarities and common interests is only part of what makes a relationship work. The butterflies, passionate kisses, and all the other fluff are fleeting. Relationships are only given validity when your differences are put to the test and you are faced with the decision to either fight or flee.

It is easy to fall in love with someone--make that anyone--when you have so much in common. There's so much to talk about, less to argue over, etc. It's one big pajama party! But when the trials of relationships come in, due to your similarities in handling various situations, this often makes for a negative-negative response. Who will give in? So, when searching for a suitable partner, always take into consideration not just your similarities, but also your differences. We give you five good reasons:

1. It's how you will see if your personalities complement or clash.

2. It's okay to argue or have disagreements because this is where compromise, growth, and, yes, amazing make-up sex come in!

3. It's okay to never come to an agreement on certain issues. If it's not a matter of life and death, this is where respect for personal opinions comes in.

4. Why settle for the same flavor of ice cream all the time when you can enjoy new combinations, toppings, and more? Adding new flavor to your own personality by allowing another person to come into your life and influence it only makes for a more interesting you.

5. Differences cause change. Change is always a good thing if you choose to see the positive in it. Partners will never be perfect, but they may be the perfect one for you. It's all about looking past what you expect them to be and accepting them for all that they are.

Compatibility is important, but it's not the only thing to consider when choosing a suitable partner. It's never easy to adjust, but come on, ladies, if we can survive in killer heels that aren't compatible with our fragile feet just to look good, this should be a cinch!

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